Trusting My Instincts
Part 2: You Can't Predict The Future (And That's Okay)
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This is the second part of the You Can't Predict The Future (And That's Okay) series, alternatively titled “Random 12 AM Thoughts” or “Things I Wish I Had Learned Sooner”. Read the first part about finding your purpose here.
When I decided to get the “big chop” and go back to my natural hair, I had been using relaxers for two decades. The kinky new growth was promising but when the hairdresser whipped off the cape and spun me around to see my new hair for the first time, I thought…
My hair was pin straight — scraggly even. Surely this wasn’t what I had been growing out for months?!
The hairdresser explained that I had two different curl patterns and while the hair on the back of my head was softer, the top would never curl. To say I was distraught would be an understatement. I had just cut off all of my hair. What had I done!
But not even a professional hairdresser could know that when I got home with African hair oil and a dream, when I washed out their product and rehydrated my hair, that my curls would instantly come back.
I started cutting my own hair shortly after that because:
Paying $50 for the Muppet Special? In this economy? ✋🏾
Not every voice of authority is a knowledgable one.
Sometimes we artists seek advice from the wrong people. Even more often, we ask for advice instead of trusting our instincts. Maybe doing it ourselves feels too daunting, or failing one too many times has damaged our self esteem, so we continue the endless cycle of advice seeking and online classes.
has a great newsletter post about this problem. Sometimes we use “learning more” as a creative way to procrastinate but because it feels like we’re doing something good for our art practice and business, we don’t see it for what it is — just another distraction.
But how to follow your instincts? For me, trusting my gut looks like:
Quieting the noise: It’s difficult to hear myself when there are so many voices out there. Many of them have the best intentions but whether it’s Instagram trends or the opinions of family and friends, I try to take a step back and let my inner voice take center stage.
Following my first mind: Often times I already know what I want and how I’m going to go after it but the more opinions I listen to, the less sure I become. This doubt creates unexpected paths in my head that only lead to overthinking. Rather than think myself in circles, I’m getting better at making choices quietly and with confidence.
Checking in with myself: Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with making decisions that it’s easier to let someone else make them for me. So I’m taking more time to untangle my feelings and put names to the emotions. Is it nervousness I’m feeling or nervous excitement about stepping out of my comfort zone?
Let myself be scared: When all else fails, do it scared!
So let’s trust ourselves more this month — and all the months after. The third and last part of this series is about rejecting external validation. Paid pals will also get early access to the post. To read it first, join the paid pal club!
Until next time,
Jade